My Blog

October 17, 2017

Elderly Mothers and Their Friends

One of the regrets I have about my 98 year-old mother was her request several years back to go to Mexico to see a dear friend of hers, Martha Gottfried. Martha passed away before we could get Mom a passport so they could get back to share a last few moments together. Both had been […]

Elderly Mothers
October 15, 2017

Elderly Mothers and My Fellow Travelers

It has been a blessing to have so many friends and even strangers come up to me and say “I went through the same thing with my mother,” or “I am going through what you are going through with my parents.” “Your blog brought back so many memories.” While we are going through it, focused […]

October 13, 2017

Elderly Mothers and Deepening Dementia

It’s the coming and going, off-again on-again nature of memory that makes accepting dementia so difficult. At least it is for those of us on the outside. For Mom, it is frightening when she can’t find her room. Remembering whether she has eaten or not doesn’t seem to matter, but not knowing where she is […]

October 12, 2017

Elderly Mothers and the Food Riots

Last week one of the truly beautiful ladies—sweet, kind, pretty and polite—called me over to her table in the dining room. She still has all her marbles and is only in residence because her husband has lost most of his. “Do you want to sign a petition with us?” she asked. “What on earth for?” […]

Elderly Mothers
October 11, 2017

Elderly Mothers and Quarreling Kids

“I haven’t seen your son lately,” I said to Lady J. “Ugh,” she says. “I don’t want him around.” “Oh,” I said, looking startled. I waited for the rest of the story. Of course, it came. For several weeks Lady J had suffered from a relapse of some sort and her son had taken a […]

Elderly Mothers
October 9, 2017

Elderly Mothers and their Friends

Part of the reason we brought Mom to Carriage Inn was to meet people and make friends. We assumed she would be lonely at the trailer, that she needed company. Well, wrong. No dice. They try to be friendly. Several will stop by her table in the dining room to say “Good Morning, Martha Lou.” […]

October 7, 2017

Elderly Mothers and Emotions

Mom stares, emotionless, as I tell her about going back to the trailer. But I can tell. There are thoughts back there behind her eyes. Stoic as always, she just won’t express them. Or, perhaps they are too vague to explain. I ask but get no answer. I shouldn’t have mentioned it this far from […]

October 2, 2017

Elderly Mothers and What the Heck?

“Enjoyed having your mother back in church yesterday.” What? Mom hasn’t been to church in months. I‘m gone for five days, leaving Mom in my sister’s care and suddenly Mom is up and about, perfectly lucid and is off for church. Suddenly, knows she used to go to church, knows where her church is (which […]

September 28, 2017

Elderly Mothers and Bed Heads

Have you ever looked at the back of someone’s head when they have been sitting in a recliner for any length of time? A little like grass that a dog has circled in several times before lying down. Hair splayed out every which way. It is a condition in which Mom finds herself all the […]

September 26, 2017

Elderly Mothers and Finances

How can people afford to stay at a high-priced Residential Facility? Lady D makes pretty bead jewelry and sells it to other residents at their annual fair. Lady M, Mom’s neighbor across the hall, paints pictures to sell. Others feel fortunate to have families that are willing to help with payments. Still others, a very […]